Burnout

If you are experiencing burnout it is an indication of just how deeply you care about the people in your life. It is an indication of a super-human commitment to change things for the better.

And then, once you acknowledge that amazing compassion that you feel for others, take a smaller moment to gently admonish yourself. Because, if you are experiencing burnout, you have not been taking proper care of yourself. You have not allowed your compassionate feelings to extend to yourself. And that is a problem that needs to be addressed. Now.

You need to make self-care the first thing on your list. And I will tell you why.

Imaging that you have a pitcher full of water.
When the people around you are thirsty and holding out their cups, you can fill their cups from the pitcher for a while. But then, once the pitcher is emptied, what do you do?
The metaphor for burnout is to desperately squeeze the pitcher trying to get more water out of a dry container. If one follows that mode, one ends up with shards of broken pitcher. Everyone goes thirsty and the container is broken.

Now imagine that you have a fountain of water. The fountain is tapping into a renewable source, and is filled until it is overflowing. When thirsty people hold out their cups to the overflowing water, everyone gets what they need and the fountain does not run dry.

If you feel burnout, you have “run dry.” You have been feeding others from your “source” instead of first “filling yourself to overflow” and then feeling others from that overflow. You have been following a non-sustainable mode of living.

In that stressed mode, everybody loses. You lose, and the people you care for lose as well. The change that you had wanted to effect in the world will not last long if you run yourself dry in the process of “helping.” A non-sustainable mode of helping is not a real help in the end.

You must fill yourself up to the point of overflowing energy first.
And you most likely already know what it is that you need in your life in order to attain that “fill up.” Perhaps you need more time for yourself. Perhaps classes in yoga, knitting, kayaking, etc. Perhaps a full nine hours of sleep each night. Perhaps a community of like-minded people to talk with, or a church.

You know what types of things make you feel stronger. But most people who experience burnout refrain from doing the things that make themselves stronger. The main reason for holding back from strengthening themselves is fear. That common fear is this: “ The people I care for will be hurt somehow if I am not there to constantly hold them up.”
That is just a fear. It is important to acknowledge that a fear is not reality.

The reality is that if you do not strengthen yourself first —before expending every last drop of your energy onto others— you will be hurt.

Take care of yourself. Give yourself some slack.
Take care of yourself. Take a break.
Take care of yourself. Do what strengthens you.
Take care of yourself. Keep breathing.

                                  For classes in Boston, see genabean.com